07222013

To the reader,

It's been a long time since I posted anything here. My undergrad life ended a few months back, and it feels like my life has paused for a while. Actually, it's moving. I just feel that it moves slowly after graduation. The post-graduation crisis, I guess. Nothing's significantly happening in me; however, in the life of other people around me, there are. And to tell you the truth, I feel a bit jealous on them.

As a person who is always in want of accomplishing something, it is truly hard for me to stay in this state. My hands are craving for work to achieve something. I am learning the art of patience so slowly (at least I am learning...little by little). I start to become bored of the routines at home. I know, I HAVE TO wait.

I am waiting productively somehow. I am getting the recommended eight hours of sleep, three liters of water, and 30-minute walks daily. I have less caffeine intake and a stress-free life. So different from what was happening last February, during the toxic days of my senior year. I am trying to pursue a healthy lifestyle--which I would have never done if I were busy at work or at school.

Still in hopes that my life will move significantly in its proper time,

Elo

P.S. I really need to gain weight. I'm ten kilos behind.

Last Letter

March 08, 2013
10:13PM

I know that this time, you will be able to read this.

I saw the news this late morning; and indeed, I was one of those people who really felt sad about it. That normal human instinct of feeling sad, especially to people who had known you like me. I cannot explain the emotions inside me.  At this time, I am happy because I am going to the province after some months of staying in Manila. I am also happy that I will be attending my cousin's wedding tomorrow.  On the other hand, there is also this pang of sadness because of what happened to you.

The series of events made me realize that with every celebration happening, there is also mourning at some point in the globe. That with every life introduced in the world, there is also a life taken away.

I should be happy for you. At last, the pains are no more to be felt by you. You're safe in God's love and presence. However, I feel that sadness towards the people you left behind. You have been so precious to them that they had fought for you. Indeed, it's hard for them to lose you.

You are an excellent fighter who never gave up. Your life has helped me define what a real fighter is. Because of you, I realized that a real fighter is not someone who remains alive after a difficult battle; he is someone who fearlessly faces each trials ahead of his way. You are that kind of fighter; and you have fought a good fight of faith.

After a long and tiresome battle, the fighter needs to rest in the arms of Abba Father. Have your rest now. This is a season for us to simply trust in His character, in Him who is the Author of our lives, including yours. I guess He ended your story happily… or much more appropriate to say, that it never ended, because we know that you are in Him, right at this time until forever.

for a friend

^supposedly a letter. recovered from a note written last October 22. still in hope that the person is getting better.

***

This would be an attempt of writing a letter for you. With this letter kept hidden, it would be impossible for you to read any of these words; it would be impossible for you to hear my side. I do hope that one day, you'll be able to listen to my side.

I know that these past few days became too hard for you, that you are indeed in a state when everything seem hopeless. Certainly, I am aware of it; it is only that I am afraid of telling these words; it is only that I might not take it to see you in that condition. Yes, in this situation I am a coward.

I do hope that you will just have a faith despite of everything happening in your life. I do not care if it is big or small, at least you have one. At least you have the guts that will drive you to push further until you have spent all of your strength. Bear in mind that God has His grace that is always there, that this grace is made perfect in weakness. Continue to have that attitude of faith.

Please do not give up, for the people around you are not giving up. When you are weak, it does not mean that you already gave up. And even if you become weak, there will people around you who will support you in every possible way that they can. And even if these people around you will be gone, God will still be there for you. He will never leave you, whatever happens.

Get well soon. You still need to pursue that dream that I dreamed before.