09242012

Sino ba ako para problemahin ang problema ng iba?

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin alam. Hindi naman ako dating ganito. Noon, isa akong tao na walang pakialam sa mundo. Sino sila para paglaanan ko ng oras sa pag-iisip? May sari-sariling buhay ang bawat tao. Pero may koneksyon ang isang tao sa isa pa. Kailanman ay hindi mo masasabi na nag-iisa ang tao.

Tahimik akong tao, pero hindi ibig sabihin noon ay wala akong pakialam sa kanila. Sa paglabas ng bawat unos na sumasapit sa mga taong nakapalibot sa akin, nararamdaman ko ang nararamdaman nila. Mga bagay na tila kung tutuusin ay hindi ko dapat iniisip. Subalit hindi sapat ang aking pang-unawa upang unawain ang lahat ng ito, at hindi sapat ang aking kakayahan upang isaayos ang lahat ng bagay. Tulad nila, isa lamang akong tao. Walang kakayahang maging makapangyarihan sa lahat ng bagay.

Ang mga suliraning iyon ang unti-unting dumudurog sa puso ko. Ito ang mga bagay na kung tutuusin ay hindi ko dapat nararamdaman. Minsan naisip ko na magpakamanhid na lang sa ginagawa nila. Pero ibang nilalang na ako ngayon. Hindi na umiikot sa aking sarili ang buong buhay ko. Naging bahagi na rin sila ng buhay ko.

Ang martir lang ng dating, di ba? Sa totoo lang, nakakapanghina. Nakakapanghinang isipin ang problema ng iba. Minsan gusto ko ng sumuko at ibalik ang dating sarili, ngunit hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang mawalan ng pakialam sa kapwa ko. Hindi ko kayang bitawan ang nararamdaman ng mga taong minamahal ko, lalo na ng Diyos na alam kong nakakaramdam din ng mga ganitong bagay. Isang maliit na bintana lamang ang aking nasisilayang problema kumpara sa mga problemang nakikita Niya. Alam kong kailanman, hindi Siya nawalan ng pakialam sa problema sa mundo.

Mabuti na lang, hindi Siya tao. Di hamak na malawak ang Kanyang pang-unawa, at higit Siyang makapangyarihan sa akin. Higit sa lahat, alam kong mapagmahal Siya. Alam kong wala na akong magagawa sa mga problema nila; ngunit kung Siya, alam kong meron pa.

Isa lang naman akong tao na nararamdaman ang problema ng iba. 

08142012 (a lover named Love)

I am simply thankful that God, being the Love himself (1 John 4:16), does not keep any record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4). And there is this Love who is always mindful of a person like me (Psalm 8:3), who gave up His life for me.

I came across with this verse awhile ago:

Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways;
according to your love, remember me, for you are good, O Lord.
-Psalm 25:7 (NIV 1984) 

I am a person remembered according to his love, and he remembered my sins no more (Isaiah 43:25). If there is a love who is worthy to be called as the one who conquers it all, this Love is the one. Indeed, he is a love that overcame my iniquities. ♥

#inspiredlang #inlove #paulit-ulitnalove

Recalled to Life

***A blog article originally posted on Tumblr last October 31, 2011. May contain spoilers.

I am the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives in me will never die.-John 11:25-26 (NIV)

This passage was quoted in A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens), a novel that I finished reading yesterday. And guess what? This same passage was the same text that I heard this afternoon at the church (It made me realize one thing: God can even speak through novels!).

First, I would like to give a picture of a scene in the book. The setting of the scene was set in France, during the French Revolution. One of the main characters is about to be guillotined in a few minutes. (This, I think, would be enough. I do not want to spoil anyone who has not yet read this novel. ;) )

Death, cruelty, injustice, inequality. These abstract nouns can be associated with the scenes in the novel. It is as if disorder comes after an attempt to change another disorder; and everything seems hopeless and tragic.

I am the Resurrection and the Life…
We tend to see the impossibilities and lose our hope, like passing through the edge of a canyon wherein the the only way is to go down. Hope, the thinnest string that keeps a person from falling, suddenly breaks when everything happens against. Everything fails. Then, we fail to understand why did it happen.

In this very moment, we must believe in Him and surrender. We might not see the picture right now: it might happen some time after or even fail to see it for the rest of our life, but God works even in the most unexpected ways. The thread may be gone, but there is God’s righteous right hand to save you from death, to bring back that stolen justice, and to steady that flickering view of His plan that we fail to see.

Easier said than done, right? I myself have suffered from hopelessness, and honestly it really approaches the word impossible. The world says no, but then my faith begins to say yes again as I was reminded again what God can do, especially in times like this. I know He can give life to my seemingly dying view of tomorrow.

I will stand at my watch
and station myself at the ramparts;
I will look to see what he will say to me,
and what answer I am to give to this complaint.

-Habakkuk 2:1 

Grasp. Hold on. Keep holding on.

Just had my last two tough weeks. And yet finals was not yet there. It is indeed hard; and this is my hardest semester ever. (Summer please come soon.) God was teaching me that same message for a week already.
Thank Him when you're blessed. Thank Him when you're not...?


I have done my best; and yet the best is not still there. The prize is miles far away from me. Where are your promises to me, my Lord? If you are with me, why is this happening? Those type of thoughts were on my mind. With those circumstances bugging around, it feels like I'm terribly wounded.

If there is one thing that I learned, it is something about my supposed-to-be response in times this. This experience is hard; but responding to this hard experience is harder.


I will worship Him even if I am hurt and wounded. God is still God, and my sufferings will not make him less of being a God. How will someone honor God when she feels weak inside? Looks like a paradox, right? Yet in times like this, He reveals more of His power, and apart from God, we are weak. See more of Him, and not on the circumstances.


Even if you are hurt and wounded, I am still with you, mighty warrior. Despite of my doubts, God said those words to me. He is still the Lover of my soul, and my doubts will not make Him love me less. He is a God and a Lover at the same time. He calls me mighty because I am with Him. :)
At the end of the day, this is not about the promise being granted, it is about the Giver of that promise. This is all about God.

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.

-Psalm 71:20-21 (NIV) 

 

breaking the silence

I am simply amazed on
...Your immeasurable power as I witness the way You change the lives of different people.

...Your unfailing and unconditional love that reaches and changes the most unreachable heart.

...Your complex thoughts as I understand the way every detail of life goes in a proper process.

And here I am. Speechless.

Standing in awe as a witness to everything You've done.
And as a proof of Your power and love.

I long to know You more...
And to live for You for the rest of my life.

:)

Because I miss blogging...

I am posting again some random thoughts, because I still believe that the greatest things are sometimes occuring randomly. Heehee. Right now I am thinking of the things that are supposed to be posted here, but because of my super busyness, I was not able to post before.
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(still thinking)
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Heto nnnaaaaaa.
Here are the random things from a random blog of a random mind.

7 Days of Prayer and Fasting. I started the year consecrating myself for God. Surprisingly, I was able to do this one; but the more surprising thing is that God answered one of my prayers even before it ends. :D

Books to read. Right now, I have 4 on the list; but again, because of my super busyness, ... (complete the most probable phrase for this sentence. :p). I'd rather read my textbooks. Ouch.

Birthday on Friday. This Friday will be my 19th birthday. My last year as a teen.

Plans. I am excited for my summer since this will be my first summer in my undergrad life that I will not be taking any summer classes. I'll make myself busy with DOST's Summer Practical Training Program (SPTP) and Training for Victory (T4V).

Stories in my mind. Because my imagination goes somewhere, there are now three of them; but I cannot express them through words.

My random thoughts ended up being random, somehow going to different directions. Haha.
I still need to sleep, or else I'll get sleepy again in my Animal Physio class tomorrow. T.T
Good morning.

Realizations

1. I see myself in the future preferably facing papers and writing than facing the camera.
2. Be careful in what you wish for, because life is full of surprises. Indeed.
3. You'll worry more of time as you get old, not because your day counts, but because your things to do adds up until you cannot count them at all.
4. Next week is a sooo busy week.
5. Mature people can act immaturely when they become driven by emotions.
6. I need to add my list of 25 things to experience before I die (because I have not reached 25 yet).
7. Any food will smell good if you are deprived of food for 7 days.
8. I can survive 7 days of prayer and fasting.
9. I'm turning 19 soon.
10. That awkward moment when your supposed to be embarrassing moment did not happen, and you told a lot of people that it will be embarrassing.

12122011

435. Make a list of twenty-five things you want to experience before you die. Carry it in your wallet and refer to it often.
-H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (Life's Little instruction Book)
*I'm gonna make one soon. ;)