speech

These words were written the upper portion of my 3" x 5" index card. For a person who hates to speak in public, that was a memorable 3 minutes and 58 seconds of her life.

It all happened last Friday. My first ever impromptu speech. I was able to speak in front of my classmates as I stood on a platform. If this was not a requirement in CommIII, I would not dare to have a speech.

After my instructor had called my name to be the next speaker, I felt how my heart beats fast. It's time. Pick a topic.

Political dynasties in the Philippines. With my index card and pencil on hand, I began writing anything related to that. Writing in an impulse. I was not able to listen to the person ahead of me. Write, write, write... It only took her 3 minutes to speak in front; but I was still not finished writing keywords about the things that I should impart on my speech. I faced the public partially unprepared.

It took a minute of my speech before my nervousness calmed down. My hands were shaking and I spoke with a lot of verbal fillers during that minute. (My most common verbal filler is "uhmm...") The good thing is, I was able to recover my composure after the first dreadful minute. Then, all thoughts written on my notes are used up, so I began speaking anything that comes out of my mind. (That is better than discussing what I have written. My real self speaks out without any pretension.) I was not looking at my index card at all. I was able to introduce and conclude the speech in an acceptable way.

Once you speak in front, you'll forget some the things you learned, as well as the ideas that you should have imparted to the audience. You will forget some things or even everything when you are nervous. After my speech, I realized that I skipped some thoughts that I prepared and wrote on my index card. At least my mind did not go blank.

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basically, actually, such, by the way, just

-verbal fillers. Naalala ko lang ang sinabi ng CommIII teacher namin. Do not use the word basically if you will not explain your thoughts in a simple manner. Can I deliver my first ever impromptu speech on Monday or Tuesday? I hope so.

Two exams tomorrow (uhmm... I mean today). Yehey. I must love plants, kahit mahirap. It is really hard to study for an exam especially during the times when your brain cannot absorb data anymore... just like now.

wake up, you're dreaming...

Have you experienced knowing that you are dreaming while still in a dream?

It happened to me several times, and the last one happened last Tuesday morning. I want to end up my dreams, particularly the bad ones.

I feel that I am not moving the way I used to be. Then somewhere in the middle, I will realize that I am not in my world. I try to move, but I can control myself hardly. There were times that I can, then I will try to activate my senses by to bite myself or pinch myself; but none of them works, since I am still inside my dream. I am not feeling any pain. The good thing about that is that it gives me a stronger proof that I am dreaming. The only thing that wakes me up is by commanding myself in my mind to wake up. "Wake up, wake up, wake up..."

Not all attempts to wake myself up are successful. Sometimes I am able open my eyes, but later I will realize that I just shifted to another world -- in another dream. I will struggle to do the same things over and over again, until I am really awake and conscious in the real world.

My last dream ended at around 1 or 2am. The good thing is that I am not speaking anything (in the real world) while I am dreaming... Well, no one reported to me the morning after that I was speaking while deep asleep at that time of my dream. :)

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When jigsaw pieces start to form a picture, somewhere in the middle, bigla ka na lang madi-disappoint, while wishing na sana hindi ka na lang umasa na maganda pala ang larawang binubuo mo. At the very beginning, sinabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako dapat umasa, pero umasa pa rin ako.

Never accept the truth of any statement unless there is an adequate evidence for it. These are the very important words that I learned in Philo I, the very important thing to remind myself that I need to think critically.

In my case, there is no sufficient evidence present on that issue; but at least I really need to step back for a bit. It is normal for some people to have flaws in their personality; and we, as human beings like them, have the choice of whether accepting or rejecting them because of those flaws. I am very sorry that I became judgmental with this; I do not have the right to judge in the very first place.

***

Goodbye second sem. I wanna go home na... :)

P. S.

Sorry for stating my words in an indirect manner. Do not take this seriously if you cannot understand even a part of this. (What an evil statement.) You can skip if you want; but right now, you are reading near the end of this blog post. The statements are for reflection purposes only.

When vandalism is an art...

I never thought that I survived the two exams today. Imagine yourself having a Biochemistry and Physics exam in one day. Hahaha... I hope that the outcomes will be fine... kasi malaki ang dapat kong habulin. Wednesday will be another big day. Three more exams... and this semester is over.

***

While celebrating this "short break" of mine before the final wave on Wednesday, I was reminded of an artist named Banksy.

The first time I heard of him was in my Humanities class last semester. Stencil art graffiti with some touch of satire. He is my favorite artist as of now. His works deal with political and social issues. You'll see most of his works in London. He is a famous artist; but no one knows his identity. Mysterious artist, indeed. The picture above is one of his artwoks. Mona Lisa is holding a rocket launcher. :)) Nice one, Banksy. :)

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“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”

Isaiah 55:8-13 (NIV)

I read this part in the Bible last Sunday. I simply love every part of it.

...and God can speak figuratively.

As I open this book each day, I learn and learn new things. At first I was one of some people who find it boring. Then it slowly made me feel inspired each day. The Bible is not just a book of laws and commandments; it is also full of promises. Sometimes it rebukes me; but the best thing is it helps me grow as a person.

This week is my hell week (and may probably extend up to weeks), and I guess this passage fits with my situation right now. :) He is in control of everything.

Meet Alice. My guitar. :)

I bought her last Sunday. I'm trying to link myself to music again. Until now I can't spend enough time with her (hell week, no!). I have to wait until the second semester ends...

Rule 1: Do not strum the first two base strings when playing D.

E is learning how to play guitar, and I lately realized that I am doing the wrong way before. Thanks to Kuya, he volunteered to teach me. :D