11282011 (microblog)

The bracelet. As I was wearing it this morning, I suddenly felt sad. My first sembreak without them.

I miss FC. If there is something that I treasure in my high school memories, it will be my moments with them. My best circle of friends. We used to meet every time we have some free weeks of vacation during college breaks. This is my second time that I will not be with them; but this time, I do not know why I am feeling much sadder. E is longing to see them.

I wanna go home na... T.T

A Poem Written on a Tissue Paper

Run as if the day won't end.

Although the world can't comprehend,

Let your dreams spread out like light

Like infinity that is far beyond one's sight.

As you travel across the depths and heights,

Never stop moving as long as the track is right.

Move a mountain or rustle the leaves of a tree.

In either way, a difference is what they will see.

10222011

6:52pm

10212011

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
   declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

-Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

*Honestly, I cannot understand why some things are happening to me; but right now, God is challenging me to trust Him and to give my best shot for it. Maybe I am seeing a different picture, but He has a different perspective that is far better than what I am thinking. I will stand firm, although the world wants me to shatter.

(retrieved from my Tumblr account.)

Random thoughts

1. It is better to have an exam a day than two exams in a day. I have that tendency to sacrifice one for the sake of the other. But yesterday, it seemed that I lost both of them. No more shotgun exams, E.
2. Paradigm shift, paradigm shift, paradigm shift... until when? Where is the change?
3. ALWAYS STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE.
4. I set standards that I myself cannot even reach. :\ ---> a character of a Melancholy temperament.
5. I want this semester to end soon. I need to retrieve my lost hours (or should I say "days") of sleeping; and I have to read my books that I bought last September at MIBF.
6. No more finals please.

Something that makes me smile

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy...

Define love. Vague, isn't it?
I have been suffering from LSS for weeks (or a month perhaps) because of this song. For a person who prefers lyrics than music when singing songs, she will do her best to sing a song that she likes whatever the height or depth the tones have, as long as she sings it with all her heart.

You might probably wonder why am I trying post something here about love. It is not because I feel bitter or brokenhearted or something like I want to slash my wrist. It is not because I am in [or wanted to have] a relationship, engaged, or "it's complicated."
I am in love... and God has changed my perspective about love.
(I can hear some voice from the back of your mind saying "This person is crazy." Well, I really am.)


I love Him because He loved me first unconditionally, no matter how sinful and imperfect I am. He completes me. He loves me stubbornly that He gave His precious Son just to save me. I feel so secured as He surrounds me like a hurricane. He never wanted to let go of me...or much better to say, He never lets me go away from him. And if I'll try to state every reason here I won't be able to end this blog.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me...


I am unworthy of this love. But then why love a very small being like me? Because He loves me, period. No requirements. God's love is not a feeling; it does not cause pain, and never gives up. It is so boundless that we cannot outlove Him and reaches out everyone's life, even yours. Love never fails, and it is so amazing that this love overcame the death and saved me as well as anyone who believes in Him. A great love, indeed.

So heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way...

***

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. 

-Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

And then what is love? Just look at the cross, and you'll definitely know ...how He loves us.

A Bend in the Road

Life is full of surprises.
Wake me up when September ends. Nakasulat yan sa planner ko. Kahit halos walang tulog ang September ko. Wish ko na sana paggising ko tapos na ang September dahil sa napakaraming exaaammmsss.. EXAAAMMMSS. Kailangan pa bang ulitin? Paulit-ulit para ma-emphasize ang quantity. :))

But even if I hate this month, there are still great things happening. Now I have reasons to celebrate September.
Someone sponsored half of my review fee for NMAT (btw, NMAT means National Medical Admission Test). This is an answered prayer... and the amazing thing is, ang bilis ng response ni God kahit hindi pa tapos ang fasting ko kahapon. :) My heart was already prepared for a self-review (dahil napakamahal ng fee), when God said to me, "'Wag kang makuntento dyan!" There are open doors... opportunity. Thaanks!

...hindi lang ako makakapag-sembreak.
Almost there. NMAT will be on December 11. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko pa alam kung saang med school ako mapapadpad (at wala akong pangtuition). I only have my faith that someday, I'll put an "MD" after my name.

08242011

E is supposed to be sleeping right now. Thanks to Eco lab exam and my distorted Circadian rhythm. :)

I love my 3rd year as Bio undergrad: my time of pushing myself out of the box.

First is my transition from follower to leader. I am recently trained as a VG leader and became a project head in an org where I am a newbie. Honestly, I hate responsibilities; but then, I cannot escape any of them. My submissive character makes me a good follower (and I always prefer being like that), but a good leader? I know I am not an ideal leader; but who knows? I am still in the process of development (?!?). (A good leader is a good follower... I do not know if that applies to me also. :p) I am a reluctant leader. Hahaha.

Next is my Advance Swimming course. Well, I took that just because it is required in our curriculum (It gives me horrible tan lines.) I am a super slow learner when it comes to sports; but at least, I am learning. While my Basic Swimming course during my freshie year made me aquaphobic, this class every Wednesday gave me less fear in Olympic-size swimming pools (worse in an open ocean? I haven't tried yet.). And now I'm loving breaststroke. :))))

I still need some sleep. That's all. :D