09242012

Sino ba ako para problemahin ang problema ng iba?

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin alam. Hindi naman ako dating ganito. Noon, isa akong tao na walang pakialam sa mundo. Sino sila para paglaanan ko ng oras sa pag-iisip? May sari-sariling buhay ang bawat tao. Pero may koneksyon ang isang tao sa isa pa. Kailanman ay hindi mo masasabi na nag-iisa ang tao.

Tahimik akong tao, pero hindi ibig sabihin noon ay wala akong pakialam sa kanila. Sa paglabas ng bawat unos na sumasapit sa mga taong nakapalibot sa akin, nararamdaman ko ang nararamdaman nila. Mga bagay na tila kung tutuusin ay hindi ko dapat iniisip. Subalit hindi sapat ang aking pang-unawa upang unawain ang lahat ng ito, at hindi sapat ang aking kakayahan upang isaayos ang lahat ng bagay. Tulad nila, isa lamang akong tao. Walang kakayahang maging makapangyarihan sa lahat ng bagay.

Ang mga suliraning iyon ang unti-unting dumudurog sa puso ko. Ito ang mga bagay na kung tutuusin ay hindi ko dapat nararamdaman. Minsan naisip ko na magpakamanhid na lang sa ginagawa nila. Pero ibang nilalang na ako ngayon. Hindi na umiikot sa aking sarili ang buong buhay ko. Naging bahagi na rin sila ng buhay ko.

Ang martir lang ng dating, di ba? Sa totoo lang, nakakapanghina. Nakakapanghinang isipin ang problema ng iba. Minsan gusto ko ng sumuko at ibalik ang dating sarili, ngunit hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang mawalan ng pakialam sa kapwa ko. Hindi ko kayang bitawan ang nararamdaman ng mga taong minamahal ko, lalo na ng Diyos na alam kong nakakaramdam din ng mga ganitong bagay. Isang maliit na bintana lamang ang aking nasisilayang problema kumpara sa mga problemang nakikita Niya. Alam kong kailanman, hindi Siya nawalan ng pakialam sa problema sa mundo.

Mabuti na lang, hindi Siya tao. Di hamak na malawak ang Kanyang pang-unawa, at higit Siyang makapangyarihan sa akin. Higit sa lahat, alam kong mapagmahal Siya. Alam kong wala na akong magagawa sa mga problema nila; ngunit kung Siya, alam kong meron pa.

Isa lang naman akong tao na nararamdaman ang problema ng iba. 

Adventures of a Bookworm

I guess I need to take a pause from the busyness of acads and tell you what happened on a Thursday night.

I went to the 33rd Manila International Book Fair (MIBF) at SMX Convention Center last Thursday. Last year's MIBF was the first book fair I ever attended, and I was with some of my blockmates who are also bookworms. With a limited budget at that time, I promised to myself that I will surely go to the next MIBF and will save a bigger amount of money.  These promises were granted last Thursday. :)

I arrived at SMX at around 5PM. Unlike last year, I went there alone. My senior days get busier as the end of semester approaches, and we failed to have a certain time schedule that we will be able to go there together. Going to a book fair alone is not lonely at all, because I somehow enjoy walking alone (Random fact: Most of the time I go to a mall unaccompanied.). I find joy in solitude, because during those times my mind becomes filled with lots of thoughts.

But that was not the actual case that happened in this book fair, because I was able to meet a new person. I met her inside the stall of National Bookstore, and as she saw me holding Pride and Prejudice, she told me, "Bibilhin mo? Maganda ang librong yan." I responded to her, and I said that it was indeed beautiful. I already read the novel and I simply wanted to have a copy of my own. From then on this stranger became my friend.

Her name is Liezel. She is a young professional, and a lover of classics like me. Surprisingly, she is a Christian attending at Victory Pioneer (Another random fact: I am attending at Victory U-Belt). At that time we talked about different classics, including Pride and Prejudice and Little Women. (..aand she also sees Mr. Darcy as an ideal man. :">) She also helped me in finding a more affordable version of Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina (because it is worth more than Php600 in NB).

Truly grateful of meeting a bookworm, a new friend that I would probably meet once in my whole life . I do hope that it will not be our last.

In the end, I was not alone at all. When she left, I also spotted some of my churchmates at the book fair. Riding on my way home in a jeepney full of strangers, I felt that I am not a lonely bookworm at all.

***

Bought eight books, two of which I have already read (Pride and Prejudice and What's So Amazing About Grace?). Both of them are highly recommended by yours truly... and it is worth having a copy of my own. On the left are the freebies I got from Penguin and OMF.